Izzy666

7.8 Recommended

Drinks  6      Ambience  9      Service  7      Value  9     

This used to be my favourite place when I lived in Princes Hill. The cocktails are hugely cheap, both in price and quality, they're all pre-mixed drinks in big jugs. But if you like weird, milky and deceptively alcoholic drinks that taste like fruit tingles and some old big lounge chairs and silent black and white movies on old tellies, and bad eighties music trivia nights and live within stumbling distance, why, Bar Nothing is the place for you.

Nov 24, 2008

6.3 Average

Food  6      Ambience  7      Service  8      Value  4     

Mmmph. Maybe it's because I'm half chinese myself, but I'm afraid I don't go in for this modern asian stuff. Maybe it's because it's like the chinese food my european mother tried to make (lots of western substitutions). Maybe it's because my aunties could make me twice the stir fry at a fraction of the cost. $28 for a plate of noodles with two prawns on top is not designed to keep me in a good temper. But then, why chinese food must be cheap and french food must have you mortgaging your house, perhaps, that isn't too fair either.

Nov 24, 2008

9.2 Highly Recommended

Food  10      Drinks  10      Ambience  9      Service  9      Value  8     

When my boyfriend came to Melbourne, he'd never had a parma before. He soon went parma crazy, and parmaed everywhere he could. The top-voted parma on superparma, at a pub in nth Melbourne, turned out to be a big disappointment, heavy on the frying, with thin flavour.

According to my love, this is the place and the parma, hot, moist chicken, rich sauce, crisp sides. I wouldn't know, every time I come here I intend to expand my menu experience but can never pass up the game pie. Even the steamed veggies on the side are delicious somehow, maybe they're grown in butter or something. There's a beautiful dessert selection that we never have room for, but it sounds delicious. Careful, this can be the kind of place you'd move for.

Nov 23, 2008

7.4 Recommended

Food  7      Drinks  7      Ambience  7      Service  8      Value  8     

My partner is from Canberra, and we have this debate, how bogan is the Elsternwick? He says very, I say he's never been to Pakenham. Maybe we enjoy a little bogan now and then, the parma special Tuesdays, the pensioners for half price roasts, the kids stealing bread rolls while their parents suck down light beers, the mindless hum of the pokies room. The food is bad enough to make you resent the price, but still edible and ok value on specials nights. Remind them to put the lemon slice in your snotty imported Mexican beer, and enjoy the beautiful ye olden pub architecture.

Nov 23, 2008

8 Recommended

Food  8      Ambience  9      Service  9      Value  6     

As we discovered after a $156 dinner for three left us still hungry, after the Tears can make you a bit weepy. Here's some pointers on how to avoid the Kleenex. Order the vodka in the three tasting glasses deals. The tasting glasses aren't much smaller and it's way cheaper. Go for the share plates. Our pierogi came in tiny bowls and were very unfulfilling. Sundays have lots of families and small children, having a wonderful time with the live string trio. Try another night if your partner is kiddie-phobic. Don't count on the honey layer cake, I think it's off the menu.

Nov 23, 2008

7.8 Recommended

Drinks  6      Ambience  9      Service  7      Value  9     

This used to be my favourite place when I lived in Princes Hill. The cocktails are hugely cheap, both in price and quality, they're all pre-mixed drinks in big jugs. But if you like weird, milky and deceptively alcoholic drinks that taste like fruit tingles and some old big lounge chairs and silent black and white movies on old tellies, and bad eighties music trivia nights and live within stumbling distance, why, Bar Nothing is the place for you.

Nov 24, 2008

6.3 Average

Food  6      Ambience  7      Service  8      Value  4     

Mmmph. Maybe it's because I'm half chinese myself, but I'm afraid I don't go in for this modern asian stuff. Maybe it's because it's like the chinese food my european mother tried to make (lots of western substitutions). Maybe it's because my aunties could make me twice the stir fry at a fraction of the cost. $28 for a plate of noodles with two prawns on top is not designed to keep me in a good temper. But then, why chinese food must be cheap and french food must have you mortgaging your house, perhaps, that isn't too fair either.

Nov 24, 2008

9.2 Highly Recommended

Food  10      Drinks  10      Ambience  9      Service  9      Value  8     

When my boyfriend came to Melbourne, he'd never had a parma before. He soon went parma crazy, and parmaed everywhere he could. The top-voted parma on superparma, at a pub in nth Melbourne, turned out to be a big disappointment, heavy on the frying, with thin flavour.

According to my love, this is the place and the parma, hot, moist chicken, rich sauce, crisp sides. I wouldn't know, every time I come here I intend to expand my menu experience but can never pass up the game pie. Even the steamed veggies on the side are delicious somehow, maybe they're grown in butter or something. There's a beautiful dessert selection that we never have room for, but it sounds delicious. Careful, this can be the kind of place you'd move for.

Nov 23, 2008

7.4 Recommended

Food  7      Drinks  7      Ambience  7      Service  8      Value  8     

My partner is from Canberra, and we have this debate, how bogan is the Elsternwick? He says very, I say he's never been to Pakenham. Maybe we enjoy a little bogan now and then, the parma special Tuesdays, the pensioners for half price roasts, the kids stealing bread rolls while their parents suck down light beers, the mindless hum of the pokies room. The food is bad enough to make you resent the price, but still edible and ok value on specials nights. Remind them to put the lemon slice in your snotty imported Mexican beer, and enjoy the beautiful ye olden pub architecture.

Nov 23, 2008

8 Recommended

Food  8      Ambience  9      Service  9      Value  6     

As we discovered after a $156 dinner for three left us still hungry, after the Tears can make you a bit weepy. Here's some pointers on how to avoid the Kleenex. Order the vodka in the three tasting glasses deals. The tasting glasses aren't much smaller and it's way cheaper. Go for the share plates. Our pierogi came in tiny bowls and were very unfulfilling. Sundays have lots of families and small children, having a wonderful time with the live string trio. Try another night if your partner is kiddie-phobic. Don't count on the honey layer cake, I think it's off the menu.

Nov 23, 2008

8.3 Highly Recommended

Food  10      Ambience  7      Service  7      Value  9     

No cards, no splits, no booking at a time to suit you. No necking, no small orders, and if you linger too long over coffee, no you. How can a restaurant get away with being so tyrannical?, (thinking music) ah, exactly. The food really is that good, and that cheap. Just the thought of those satays has me dribbling right now. Go ahead and join the hordes of cowed and obedient diners, you won't be disappointed.

Nov 23, 2008

9 Highly Recommended

Drinks  9      Ambience  9      Service  10      Value  8     

A lot can depend on one's waitress. Ours tried to take away our daiquiri jug before we were finished with it, we were trying to scoop out and eat the mushy strawberries and she was so horrified that she snatched the jug away and came back with a dish of fresh strawberries for us, free of charge. It's an original place, plastic grass, lawn chairs, and the staff uniform is loosely 1930s backyard pool party for drunken housewives. View is to die for, too. Unfortunately, the crowds of after hours yuppies and arts students descend on friday and saturday. Sigh.

Nov 23, 2008

8 Recommended

Food  8      Ambience  6      Service  8      Value  10     

Ok, I think this is about managing expectations. This is a Chinese canteen, with the pros and cons of a Chinese canteen. Pros: pretty good dumplings (excellent prawn and pork dumplings), very hot food, very fast, extremely cheap.

Cons: shared tables, bits of food around, DIY tea in big vats, stuff floating in the soy tub, a friend of mine swears she saw a rat but they mostly stick to the kitchens. And yes, the customers and waitresses will be mostly Chinese and moving like hummingbirds. This is not a restaurant, and you shouldn't expect it to be. Still, it's a classic, and I always go back - just pray they fry the food hot enough to kill all the bugs.

Nov 23, 2008

7.8 Recommended

Drinks  8      Ambience  8      Service  8      Value  7     

What can I say? It's an eclectic, laidback, pretty typical venue, the kind of place that spring up by the dozens in Melbourne. The design is dirty russian hooker on acid, lots of brash elements thrown in together and that's not too original these days either. But it's a comfortable place. I thought it might be a bit too pretentious and euro-fakey, but I went there with a german guy and he seemed quite happy. Go figure.

Nov 22, 2008

8.8 Highly Recommended

Drinks  10      Ambience  9      Service  9      Value  7     

Wow, the cocktail list will blow you away. Try the margarita custard instead of dessert and bring a lot of money, you'll want to try every drink on the menu.

Nov 22, 2008